“The essential dilemma of my life is between my deep desire to belong and my suspicion of belonging.” Jhumpa Lahiri (American-Indian author)
Mankind is an entity that needs certainty, clarity. It seeks stability. He wants important cornerstones in his life to be obvious. For this reason, he prefers to work in a specific job every day, establishes a family, wants to have children. On the other hand, he’s also afraid of clarity as well. Human life energy consists of changes based on these dilemmas. Man is different from every other living thing in the world. Unlike all other living beings, he is aware of his own feelings. It is an entity that can think, and by that, he can create new feelings, new thoughts for itself. This feature can be the most superior and the weakest feature of man. Man lives in his soul by harboring dilemmas. On the one hand, he wants to be happy, on the other hand, he can even go after the choices he will definitely be unhappy with. He wants to connect but avoids connecting. It wants to be happy, but it’s always can find something to hurt herself. In his soul he needs freedom, but he fears to be alone. As a human being, we all have to fight these dilemmas within ourselves. Moreover, even when we consider that we won this war and set a path, the dilemma continues and we wonder about the fate of the other option. The only those who can form a blend of these contradictions live peaceful, stable, pleasant lives. Others have to survive with spiritual earthquakes.
The need for clarity causes the man to ask questions about his future. It interrogates his own life and creates beliefs that his future will be better. It establishes plans in this direction and tries to implement them. The unique uncertainty of the future is the most obvious obstacle to man’s need for certainty. To overcome this, having a certain job, a certain spouse, establishing a family and making the future seem more certain is one of the safest, most practical ways for many people. For many people, the need to determine with whom to grow old with is extremely apparent. The question comes to mind, why do some of us feel for this need, but still avoid being connected? It is possible to generalize this feeling, especially in the male genre. They don’t want to die alone, but they also want to live alone. The woman can easily accept this requirement and put it in the forefront. The male may choose to ignore this need for a period, because of the urge to be alone in his creation.
We all try to lead our lives in a certain direction. All of us wants to make our life meaningful. In doing so, one of the deepest pits in front of us is obscurity. The more uncertain a person’s life is, the more worn out his soul. For this reason, what we all try to do in this regard is similar to each other, confronting our fears and taking steps to clarify our lives. A final question; when we decide to move towards a goal, do our feelings go to the helm and govern us, or do we orient our feelings with our rational mind? Or both? For centuries, people have been asking these and similar questions to get to know themselves and it seems that they will continue to ask.
K.